In your precious memory Shawna Kathleen Hunter .  Born July 20, 1982 at a whopping 5 lbs and 15 ozs.She passed away on March 28, 2003 at the age of 20.  May you place your angel wings around us all and hold us tight until we are home with  you once again. I love you more than you could of ever known.  Love Mom














  
This  site was created for all of those that love Shawna and her memory. I wanted to create something that would give those that want to, an opportunity to acknowledge her in the only way we can. To speak of her as only they would know how because of the memories that they share with her. I want her family and friends to be able to reach out to her. To talk to her. We know she is home  now with her  precious heavenly father. As she looks down upon us please know that she will wrap her beautiful angel wings around you and hug you and make you smile with the thought of her as only she could do. Her laughter was contagious, her eyes could pierce you to the depth of your soul. She loved with passion and had a zest for life that anyone could see. She left her child in our care, to watch her grow into a beautiful young woman just as she was. I will continue to post pictures as Shyanne grows, you will see Shawnas reflection in the same piercing blue eyes as she had. If you watch over the years you will  watch Shawna's beautiful daughter grow each and every day. Then one day when Shyanne is an adult, she willl be able to look back at this site and know just how much her Mother was truly LOVED!!













Understanding what you can’t understand about the grieving parent: 




♦ Unless you have lost a child, no you don’t understand my pain, so please do not say so. Even family and friends, as much as they loved your child, still have no idea what the parent is going through. 

♦ Event’s such as weddings, anniversaries, holiday, birthdays, and other events and gatherings are incredibly hard to deal with, and may be for months, years, possibly forever. Never judge, or become impatient. The grieving parents know when they are ready for events such as this. Family and friends need to be understanding, and realize life as it was before the child died, no longer exists. Therefore you will find grieving parents no longer wish to celebrate as they did in the past when their child was alive. New traditions are often made, as the old ones are too hard to continue on with. Some may choose to not celebrate at all. 

♦ The day that your loved ones child died, the parents life as they knew It died too. Life will never be the same for the family, especially for the parents, so don’t expect It too be. 

♦ Grief is an individual process. There is no right or wrong way. No time limit, and the grieving parent will never get over it. 

♦ People may expect that grief will lessen in an orderly fashion when, especially for parents of deceased children, grief often worsens over time or recurs, dramatically and painfully, years after the loss. 

♦ Grief counseling, therapy, and support groups are statistically not a commonly used option for grieving parents. If needed they are very useful, but again, each parent will grieve differently. Outside help is often found in friends, family, or the community. Do not insist your loved one seeks outside help. 

♦ Respecting a grieving parents wishes when decisions are to be made surrounding the deceased child, is crucial! Many parents feel all they have left is the planning of their child’s funeral, choosing where their child will be laid to rest, and planning and attending events scheduled in honor of their child. Often family members feel they are experiencing a great loss too, and feel left out, but unfortunately the grieving parents wishes and needs must come first. Others must respect those decisions. 

♦ A change in a grieving parents personality is normal, and can be permanent. It is normal for depression to set in, and is only dangerous if it is having profound affects on their personal life. Example, no longer able to work due to lack of sleep or interest, substance abuse, physically harming themselves or others, noticeable decrease in personal hygiene and care for other children, no longer wanting to be with spouse. A drop in mood, or energy is not something to be alarmed by. 

♦ Family members should not look to the grieving parent for support. Loved ones often feel helpless and alone and forgotten about after a child in the family has passed away. Grief is one of the #1 stressors an individual can endure in their lifetime, especially when it involves losing a child. Turn to other family members for support. Often times the grieving parent does not want to talk, and will want to be left alone, mainly due to added stress when exposed to the demand of family and friends. 

♦ The grieving parent needs support, respect, and understanding. It is crucial that family and friends shelter their loved ones from any unnecessary stress and trauma if at all possible. It is unfortunately rather common for persons in the grieving process to be the victim of sudden illness, as serious as a heart attack, or even death due to the level of stress. 

♦ Family and friends may have to step in and help care for any children, such as siblings of the deceased child. Caring for young children during the initial stages of the grieving process can be nearly impossible at times. 


♦ It is said that in a time such as this, the loss of ones child, it will quickly be made apparent who is going to be supportive and who is not. This is the hardest event your loved one will most likely endure in their lifetime, and it is often difficult for others to understand and continue to stay supportive. Remember, the grieving parent will never be able to put into words what they are feeling, so except that you will never understand, and decide if you are able to still be supportive. 

♦ Their child may have passed away, but they are still that child’s parent.






My Mom is a Survivor

My Mom is a survivor,
or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night 
when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night
and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her
to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach
that never wash away . . .
I watch over my surviving mom,
who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others . . .
a smile of disguise!
But through Heaven's door I see
tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with death
to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows
it is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom
through Heaven's open door . . .
I try to tell her that angels
protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn't help her . . .
or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her . . .
and show her that you care.
For no matter what she says . . .
no matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart
that time won't ever heal

WE'RE ALIKE, YOU AND I

We're alike, you and I
We've never met
Our faces would be those of strangers
if we met
We would barely perceive the other's presence
If we passed on our walk through the mists
We're unknown to each other
Until the terrible words have been spoken
"MY CHILD DIED"

We're alike, you and I
We measure time in seconds and eternities
We try to go forward to yesterday
Tomorrows are for the whole people,
And we are incomplete now
The tears after a time turn inward
To become invisible to all save you and me
Our souls are rumpled from wrestling with demons.
And doubts and unanswerable prayers.
"GIVE ME BACK MY CHILD"

We're alike, you and I.
The tears that run down your face are my tears
And the wound in your soul is my pain too.
We need time, but time is our enemy
For it carries us farther and farther
From our lost child
And we cry out;
"HELP ME"

We're alike, you and I.
And we need each other
Don't turn away, but give me your hand
And for a time we can cease to be strangers
And become what we truly are,
A family closer than blood.

United by a bond that was forced upon us---
But a bond that can make us stronger,
Still wounded and not to sure,
But stronger for our sorrows are shared.
"WE NEED NOT WALK ALONE"

~ by Judy Dickey ~

~ Don't Cry For Me ~

Don't cry for me, Dear family and friends
for I have gone on home;
Death to me was just a door,
to bring me before God's throne.

I'm living now with Jesus,
my Savior, and Lord, and friend;
Don't cry for me, Dear family and friends,
for my life has not come to an end.

I've run the race with endurance
and finished all I was to do;
And when your days on earth are done
then God will call you too.

In heaven there is no sorrow
no suffering nor pain;
Don't cry for me, Dear family and friends,
for someday we'll meet again.

Just live every day for Jesus,
to Him be faithful and true;
Hold fast and endure to the end,
I'll be waiting to welcome you.

© Cheryl Martinez (Jesse's Grandma) - www.solesurvivors.org)